Lately there hasn't been any self-injury. H's psychiatrist and her psychologist now both seem to agree that she is additionally schizophrenic. I hope they're having fun. This seems to be manifesting itself lately through fairly extreme psychotic paranoia. She loses her ability to reason and becomes convinced that, for example, there are voices (often just as she is drifting off to sleep), or that people - or alligators (i couldn't make this shit up if i tried) - might very potentially burst through the bedroom window and chew out her throat. Sometimes she sees her stuffed animals move. Occasionally she thinks i may have take some vague steps against her. It's like the world's most extreme case of severe anxiety.
And no, i am not exaggerating. At all. This crazy-assed fucking shit is true. This shit really happens.
It occurs to me that if anyone should stumble upon this blog and read any of this, they would almost certainly conclude that this is some kind of episodic fiction, possibly deceptively so.
It is not!
However, i am wondering of late whether she may be extremely susceptible to suggestion. I wonder what would happen if her mind-doctors told her, out of the blue, that she was suffering from some made-up mental disorder with a custom, telling set of symptoms. Something that has never actually been observed. Or even something fairly common, but that she definitely couldn't have. I wonder. If it were that easy, maybe they could work their way to suggesting her better. Ha! Right. Nothing is that simple.
This is really beginning to get difficult.
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