I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. So far, H has been doing so incredibly well on Geodon that already i have actually begun allowing her free access to her insulin needles, and even let her shave her legs in the tub by herself. She's really doing well. It really does seem like Cathy has reintegrated now. Very strange.
And very welcome.
In some weird sense, i will almost miss Cathy. She's the one alter that i came to see the most of, besides the little girl Charla. I certainly feel really bad for that part of H who became Cathy. She was a very hurt young girl, and you know my heart just really goes out to her. I felt awful all the times i couldn't seem to get through to her myself. I really wanted to help her. Certainly, she made me very angry, because she hurt my girlfriend. But now she's gone, and it's a bittersweet feeling. Were she a separate individual, i would wish her the best. As it is, i think if she's integrated back into H, then i'm happy for her.
This is all very confusing innit?
I'm happy for H and for that severely distressed part of her which was Cathy. I won't miss what Cathy did, but i can't help feeling as though someone in desperate need of help has suddenly disappeared. I wish she could have been well right from the start. I wish she had never had to go through whatever traumas she has had to experience. I know that if she's truly integrated, she'll be much, much better, and that's what i hope for her.
Well, i think that's about all i really have to say about that.
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